The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow November 9, 2023

The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow —
Commentary by Larry Schweikart



1)  “Is the Fat Lady warming up? Yes.” Trump chokes off his rival's last lines of attack.

-Polls show he can clearly beat Rutabaga, and they can’t.

2) An even bigger loser last night than Daniel Cameron was Virginia governor Glenn Youngkin, who failed to hold the state senate.

COMMENT: This is somewhat unfair. Youngkin was never an indicator of a “wave.” He was at the right place with the right anti-transoid/pro-parent campaign. He was never presidential material and has no coattails.

3) The Minnesota Supes nixed an attempt to remove President Trump from the primary ballot, saying challengers could try in the general—by which time their own precedent would be used against them.

4) So it begins: Cong. James Comer has subpoenaed Hunter Biteme, James Biteme, and Rob Walker.

5) The Nashville top cop confirmed the authenticity of the leaked “manifesto” pages.

6) A pro-Pale college prof killed a Jewish protester, Paul Kessler, when rival rallies occurred in Kollyfornia.

7) A 5.2 magnitude earthquake hit West Texas.

-Related to the Rangers winning the World Series?

8) I’m glad no one was hurt, but this is funny right there, don’t care who you are. An electric bus in Kollyfornia lost power going up a hill and rolled back, hitting 9 cars.

-What? They weren’t “self-driving/self-avoiding?”

9) DeSantis’s biggest donor Robert Bigelow, who gave him $20 million, thinks he will lose to Trump and is considering moving his money to the Donald. $20 million for Tony Lama lifts?

10) ichigan voters oust Republicans who backed a ChiCom-backed battery plant in their town.

-Well, good, but you guys couldn’t oust the evil witch who locked you down like a Soviet gulag for a year?

11) Four Washington State election offices were evacuated as they got white powder in the mail.

-Wait, did Hunter think Washington State was Washington D.C. and mailed his package to the wrong zip code?

12) Small victory, but we’ll take it: A GOP challenger declared victory over a Soros-backed prosecutor.

13) Speaking of slime, a chain of high-end brothels serviced elected officials, tech, pharma execs, and military brass.

-$600 per hour—your tax dollars literally at work.

14) This Kollyfornia town has a dog for a mayor.

-Seriously, can’t be worse than Beetlejuice or Eric the Red Adams.

15) In the wake of yet another round of losses, Republicans have called on GOP Chairwoman Ronna McRomBush to resign.

-I would have pre-dated this to 2021.

16) Cankles compares Trump to Hitler.

-This waddling pus-spewer is still seething that Trump kicked her ample ass out of politics.

17) A top exec from the voting machine company that “flipped votes” in the Pennsylvania election admitted, “someone programmed the election.”

18) 25% of white evangelicals in OH voted in favor of the pro-abort constitutional amendment.

-The problem begins and ends in the church.

19) The U.S. Army says it needs $3 billion for artillery rounds.

-Well, ask Pootie-poot. I’m sure most of them ended up behind Russkie lines.


20) Kollyfornia schools pursue an “anti-racist”agenda as a majority of students fail math.


21) A Florida court upheld a state law prohibiting men from competing in women’s sports.


22) Mortgage purchase demand is down 20% under Rutabaga.

23) Shoplifting surged by 64% in New Kabul, the most of any major city in the past four years.

24) Billionaire John Malone warns of Big Tech’s entrance into sports.

25) Not satisfied with cars and bikes that burst into flames, Hyundai is opening a plant in the U.S. to build electric flying exploding cars.

26) Nextdoor, a social media giant I never heard of described as “one big Karen clambake of angry menopausal harpies, has slashed 25% of its staff.

-Dunno, this seems unfair. I mean, are they all menopausal?


27) An elderly American was arrested in Panama after being suspected of shooting two eco-protesters blocking a highway.

28) U.S. Secretary of State, Winken, Blinken, and Nod urged the Pales and the Gazakastans to unite in one big gubment.

-Sorta like Evil West and Evil South.

29) Though we really don’t have a say, 2/3 of Americans oppose a ceasefire against Hamas.

-I wonder how many would support a Jericho option?

30) India has barred protests supporting the Pales.



31) Multiple members of Shania Twain’s crew were hospitalized after their tour bus and a truck crashed in Canada.

32) Well, this bear swiped a $45 Taco Bell order from the porch.

-I wonder if he realized he forgot to get the Fire sauce?

33) Jeremy Renner continues a long and tortuous rehabilitation after having metal plates put in his face to support his eye socket, titanium rods in his leg, and a metal rebuilt ribcage.

-No, Hawkeye is not going to be the next Iron Man.

34) Matt Ulrich, guard on the Super Bowl-winning Colts team, dead at age 41.

-Cause of death not given. I’m certain it couldn’t have been the vax.


35) Travis Tritt stands up for those who experienced vax-related side effects and has taken on Big Pharma.


36) A “rogue” star won’t collide with earth in 29,000 years after all.

-Dang. Now I won’t get to see Earth’s super-star defenses at work.



  • Larry Schweikart

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Larry Schweikart is the co-author with Michael Allen of the NYTimes #1 bestseller, A Patriot's History of the United States, and is the founder of the history curriculum site, the  Wild World of History, and the new spinoff Wild World of Politics. Larry can be found at Substack under Larry Schweikart and, for as long as they allow him, at Twitter @LarrySchweikart and on Gettr @OtherWalls and on TruthSocial @CyberneticsLS

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