The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow

IN POLITICAL NEWS

1) The biggest news of the day was that Elon Musk’s offer to buy Twitter—which the Twitster leadership originally rejected—was reconsidered and Musk is the happy owner of the blue bird.

2) Immediately Musk locked down the Twit source code to make it hard for employees to make unauthorized changes to the platform. In other words, woke little disgruntled spoogocrats in Twit won’t be able to sabotage the system.

3) This is because he plans to make the algorithms open source “to increase trust.”

That’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.

Breaking: Musk Releases First Statement After Twitter Takeover, Reveals Future of the Company

4) President Trump, however, will stay on Truth Social. This was to be expected.

5) The Twit buyout is big for conservatives, as a new, open forum will be available to them—but already a House Republican predicts the GOP will take 40 seats.

-That may be quite low now: 40 is the floor.

6) Biteme is totally unprepared for the midterm wave.

-Not surprised. He still doesn’t know what week it is.

7) The Rutabaga’s team now thinks Kampuchea Harris was sabotaging rivals for the veep spot.

-So? That’s what DemoKKKrats do. They cheat. Right, Rutabaga?

8) Fittingly, Harris is breaking records with historically low approvals: 28.5% according to highly rated Trafalgar.

9) Meanwhile, Kash Patel says Bull Durham has shut down the statute of limitations argument.

-I remain skeptical on Durham and pray I’m wrong.

WATCH Kash Patel: John Durham Has Shut Down The Statute Of Limitations Argument

10) A justice official says Durham’s report will be made public. Oops. Guess Grand Moff Garland won’t be able to shield it.

11) But right on schedule, a judge has limited Durham in presenting evidence that collusion claims were untrue unless Sussmann’s attorney raises the issue first.

12) Google is rolling out software that will correct you with inclusive language.

-When it prompts me, I will just say “Hell no” and continue.

Google Rolls Out Feature That Corrects You With Woke ‘Inclusive’ Language; Report

13) File under, “Yeah. I buy that.” Botoxic has said Zero is jealous of the Rutabaga.

14) The New York Times frets that conservative judges have used the pandemic to “dismantle” government’s “legal authority.”

-Yep. Ain’t it grand?

15) Minority leader Kevin McCarthy has warned that Republicans might impeach Biteme over the death of the border official.

McCarthy warns of impeachment for Biden border official 

16) In a “huge win” for border security, a U.S. District Court has granted a temporary restraining order blocking Biteme from lifting Title 42.

In “Huge Win For Border Security”, Court Temporarily Blocks Biden Admin From Lifting ‘Title 42’

17) Biteme called NHL commissioner Gary BETTman “Gary Batman.”

-Holy smokes!

Holy Brain Fog, Batman!

18) A treasure hunter group alleged that the FBI made off with $500 million in lost Civil War gold. I thought that came with a curse?

 

IN ECONOMIC NEWS

19) Stock markets in China and Hong Kong took a dive on a crisis in confidence in China.

Stock Markets in China & Honk Kong Dive, Yuan Slides, Crude Oil Drops on Confidence Crisis in China

20) Twit staff was told in an emergency meeting that their jobs are only safe for six months until the takeover is completed.

21) Japan has determined to spend billions to “Ease Inflationary Pain.”

-No, this is not turning into the skid.

Japan To Spend Billions To “Ease Inflationary Pain” Caused By Spending Billions

 

IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS

22)  A Dutch political party Forum, voor Democratie, has asked where Zelensky’s huge fortune has come from.

23) Mass graves near the besieged Ukrainian city of Mariupol proved to be another hoax. It’s a small cemetery, no pits, no mass graves.

24) Zelensky has spoken in favor of settling the war with diplomacy.

25) Companies reported they are “overwhelmed with inquiries” for nuke bunkers in Switzerland.

26) The Canadian University of Waterloo has now offered tenure track only for women, non-binary, or “two-spirit persons.”

-You do understand this is why you are named after one of the greatest military defeats in history, right?

 

IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS

27) Channel 4 Dispatches has shown that Metaverse users boasted that they are attracted to “little girls aged between the age of nine and 12.”

28) This qualifies as entertainment: a Minnesota State Senate candidate gave her convention speech while in labor.

29) Marvel-verse director James Gunn who oversaw “Guardians of the Galaxy” has disappointed Whackadoodle Leftoids everywhere by saying he will not replace Chris Pratt as Starlord.

-If he was replaced, said Gunn, “We would all be going with him.”

 

IN CHINA VIRUS NEWS

30) Our own uncoverdc.com reports that an American Airlines pilot, forced to get a China Virus vax, suffered cardiac arrest at the gate.

Forced to Get COVID-19 Jab, AA Captain Suffered Cardiac Arrest At Gate

31) No, not the Babylon Bee: the Toronto Zoo has claimed that animals are receiving China Virux vaxxes of their own free will, saying “these are voluntary inoculations.”

-Really. They said that.

Zoo Claims Animals Receiving COVID Vaccine of Their Own Free Will: ‘These Are Voluntary Inoculations’

32) Finally, a family living near a country club has won $4.9 million in damages after being “terrorized with golf balls” that forced neighborhood children to wear helmets while playing outside.

-I swear, your honor, I haven’t played golf in years.

 

And that’s Today’s News

Larry Schweikart is the co-author with Michael Allen of the NYTimes #1 bestseller, A Patriot’s History of the United States, and is the founder of the history curriculum site, the  Wild World of History. Larry can be found at Substack under Larry Schweikart and, for as long as they allow him, at Twitter @WallsOther and on Gettr at @OtherWalls and SOON on TruthSocial!

Larry Schweikart’s New Book, Dragonslayers, can be found on Amazon. You can listen to his interview with Tracy Beanz on Dark to Light HERE