The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow
IN POLITICAL NEWS
1) Cankles, still seething from her loss in 2016 to Donald Trump, implies Biteme is “not sane.”
-She ain’t wrong.
2) The Vice President, Kampuchea Harris, continues to sink in polls. Some 57% of respondents to a Rasmussen poll say they have an unfavorable view of her.
3) NASCAR driver Brandon Brown unveils new “Let’s Go Brandon” sponsor.
4) The loose ends in the Epstein sex scandal continue to be tied up. The case against the guards who just happened to be “asleep” when Epstein didn’t kill himself has been dropped.
5) . . . although a judge has ordered the Epstein agreement with Prince Andrew to be released.
6) And charges against Epstein assistant Lesley Groff, accused of supplying girls for the pedophile, have been dropped after a civil case against her was dropped.
-See how this works out for the elites?
7) The DemoKKKrat governor of Connecticut, Ned Lamont (whose name sounds like that of a 1930s radio mystery villain) has announced mask mandates don’t work, and that they are not “curbing the spike.”
8) File under “About time”: USA Swimming official Cynthia Millen has resigned in protest of the transoid male swimmer Lia Thomas being allowed to compete against actual women.
9) In Kollyfornia, smash-and-grabbers continued to equalize wealth in the state by snatching $1.5 million from a luxury Palm Beach handbag shop.
10) Woodlawn (Chicago) mostly black residents protest gentrification, incursion of De Paul University (you know, lotsa white women) and the Zero Presidential Center, with its six miles of basketball courts.
-Just kidding. It’s only four miles.
11) And while on the subject of tradition and memorials, ownership of Richmond’s Confederate monuments will transfer to the Black History Museum.
-What, not the Proud Boys’ Center for the Reconciliation of Races?
12) Offered the Boss’s endorsement, Alaska governor Mike Dunleavy accepted Trump’s support conditional upon him not endorsing turncoat senator Lisa MurCowSki.
13) Wisdom from the American Thinker: A new wave of panic has set in among the climate-change panic mongers. (Hint: They forgot about the Sun. Easy to do as it’s only the biggest nuclear reactor in our sector of the universe).
14) The Pentagon retreats from transparency at Gitmo, builds a new secret room. Would this be for Maxwell so she doesn’t kill herself?
15) Medical analysts: a new medical field of “indoctrinologists” is now in control of medicine. Dr. Sally Satel claimed a wave of left-wing ideas about race and identity have distracted medical professionals from their real purpose of healing.
16) Senate DemoKKKrats have nine vulnerable seats in 2022.
-Oh, Lord, let it rain.
17) Since the OhMyGod variant failed to deliver sufficient fear, New York Governor Kathy Hochul declares racism a “public health emergency” and specifically points to Asian hate crimes.
-Just asking: is there any particular group that seems to dislike Asians?
18) Meanwhile in America, justice for transoid fascist so-called Antifa rioter who assaulted Portland cops is dropped after he completed just 30 hours community service.
-Likely this consisted of spraying graffiti with slogans like “Pigs go home!” on local police stations.
IN ECONOMIC NEWS
19) The lockdown in Xi’an China has hit some of the world’s largest chipmakers.
IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS
20) The ChiComs, who think China’s people are too poor, have invoked a series of income tax cuts to reduce personal income taxes by $17.3 billion per year.
-Now maybe it would be ok to reduce taxes in America, since we follow the “ChiCom Model” in everything else?
21) The paragons of progressivism, the Tolly-ban, have ordered mannequins to be beheaded, saying store dummies’ heads offend Islam.
-Now do the uber-fat mannequins, guys.
22) Germany, concluding its citizens are too warm and have too much light, is pulling the plug on half of its last nuclear plants.
IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
23) The Kollyfornia business manager to Nicki Minaj and the Kardashians was “tortured with a knife” before being murdered by her ex-boyfriend and driven around in the trunk of his car.
-I guess he didn’t leave the trunk of his car open like so many other Kollyfornians.
24) A UK “Person of the Year” poll was dropped when “Harry Potter” author J.K. Rowling took the lead. (She has refused to be bullied into accepting the transoid agenda).
IN CHINA VIRUS NEWS
25) Unexplained deaths of young people shortly after receiving the China Virus vax continues: Popular Brazilian singer Cantor Maurilio dies at age 28 six weeks after his vax.
26) Almost one-third of the NBA’s “fully vaxxed” players are out with the China Virus.
-Bet they wish they had them some natural immunity about now.
27) Steve Kinch reports an anonymous radiologist has leaked data that since the vax roll out the number of cases of unexplained adenopathy went from one every six months to two or three per day, an increase of 360 times.
28) The new Menshevik mayor of New York City, Eric (the Red) Adams says he will continue the former Bolshevik mayor, Comrade Bill De Blasio’s vax mandates.
29) U.S. China Virus cases hit record high as deaths and hospitalizations remain “comparatively low.”
30) Study: Children develop robust and sustained immune responses to the China Virus.
31) Experts question whether we are on the brink of over-vaccinating with the fourth vax.
-Really? Many of us thought we were over-vaccinating with the first one.
32) Georgetown University cancels in-person learning: the $60,000 a year school will only be open virtually, although students can still live in dorms.
33) After two years of lying, Dr. Fallacy finally admits many children were hospitalized “with” the China Virus, not “because” of the China Virus.
34) And finally, rapper/actor Ice Cube says Chris Tucker, co-star of the movie “Friday,” has turned down a recurring role in “Next Friday” that would have paid $10-12 million for “religious reasons,” saying Tucker did not want to cuss or smoke weed on film.
And that’s Today’s News