The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow
IN POLITICAL NEWS
1) The canaries are singing so loud you’re gonna need earplugs: DemoKKKrat #26, CO Congressman Ed Perlmutter, announces he won’t seek reelection.
8th term Colorado Democratic Congressman Ed Perlmutter, who represents the #CO07 western and northern Denver suburbs House district, announced he won't seek re-election this fall. https://t.co/UQQsZzi6su
— Craig Caplan (@CraigCaplan) January 10, 2022
2) . . . while now Senate races show three DemoKKKrats in toss-up races (the Warlock in GA; Starboy Mark Kelly in AZ, and Catherine Cortez Mastro in NV are now “tossups.” Don’t look now but Maggie Hassan’s race in NH is wide open.
3) The Demented Pervert, talking to victims of the Colorado fires, drones on about windmills.
4) The Ope and former presidents Slick Willie and Zero have been bullying Manchin-on-a-Hill to get him to support the Build Back Boondoggle.
5) Speaking of Zero, he once vigorously defended the filibuster. Now he calls it a “Jim Crow relic.”
-Only till Republicans take the Senate again, though.
6) How dismal is the Rutabaga’s performance? He is going to Atlanta to support ending the filibuster while Stacey (M1) Abrams avoids the event.
7) This is how chaotic and contradictory the Rutabaga’s policies are: he says schools should open, but won’t condemn Chicago teacher’s union for keeping them closed.
-Cuz, after all, no DemoKKKrat can criticize any union, any time.
8) Here is their next tactic: eleven North Carolina voters file petitions to disqualify Cawthorn from running because he “made comments” supportive of the Patriot Day (Jan. 6) festivities.
-Eleven. Their ultimate goal is to prevent Trump from running in this manner.
9) The War Party, the DemoKKKrats, are at it again. Former CIA Director and White House Chief of Staff wants the U.S. to attack Russia with cyber warfare if the Russkies move on Ukraine.
10) Reporter Andy Ngo’s lawsuit against fascist so-called Antifa moves forward in an Oregon legal victory.
-Andy is doing what neither Jeff Sessions, nor Bill Barr, nor Merrick Garland would do: taking on the fascists.
11) From hiring to admissions, universities seek ideological conformity in applicants.
12) Every time you think the Babylon Bee is satire you see something like this: a white Chicago politician Michele Smith wants people to run at armed robbers blowing whistles.
13) House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy says the U.S. Chamber of Commerce “left” the GOP a long time ago and is “not welcome back.”
-Well, unless you’re Yertle, not-Thune-enough, or Minion. Then the CoC always has a seat at the table.
IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS
14) British Prime Minister Boris Johnson appears to be of the same ilk as American politicians, as British voters slam his India visa plans saying, “Brexit voters didn’t vote for more immigration.”
15) Another Chinese city enters lockdown, but only a few people affected (five million).
-Well, it is China.
16) Medical journal says divorce is terrible for men’s health: men who live alone for more than seven years are more at risk of early death, heart attacks, and dementia.
-So explain Biteme.
17) The Danish spy chief has been detained over a “highly sensitive” leak that relates to allegations that Danish intelligence colluded with the US NSA to spy on Euro leaders and private citizens.
IN ECONOMIC NEWS
18) An analyst at TLR Analytics says that “people . . . are running out of money” as the last stimulus checks go out, and this may lure people back into the job market.
-Yeah, not having money can be one of those factors that makes people, you know, WORK.
19) JPMorgan’s Jamie Dimon says to expect more than four Fed rate increases this year.
IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
20) Britney Spears shares nude pics covering herself with only emojis celebrating her “free woman energy.”
-Come on, Brit. A lot of us said you were competent enough to run your own life. You’re making us look bad. But at least we looked . . . .
IN CHINA VIRUS NEWS
21) Even the Atlantic now is admitting that more Americans are saying “they’re vaxxed and done.” Apparently, they aren’t falling for the banana in the tailpipe anymore.
22) In Kollyfornia a new order permits health care employees who tested positive with the China Virus to return to work. Ooooooook. Why suspend them in the first place then?
COMMENT: It’s all unraveling folks. Even without the Supreme Court (yet) America simply cannot do business without the unvaxxed, nor, nor can gubment and the health care sector function without them. Just not enough people, especially qualified people. And CDC Director Rochelle Walensky admitted that most China Virus-related hospital cases and deaths were from people admitted with other symptoms (“with” the China Virus) and how many died “from” the China Virus itself. They’re looking for a way out folks, even if the Supes don’t give it to them.
23) A young Brazilian newscaster suffers a heart attack live on air . . . after getting his third vax.
24) Well, this is reassuring: researchers confirm myocarditis related to the China Virus vax in young adults but say it’s “mild.”
-A “mild” heart attack, folks.
25) Meanwhile, the Pfizer CEO says two vaxxes “offer very limited protection if any.”
-Wait, what? Biteme said they would protect us all. You know, like Jefferson’s gunboats in 1812?
26) Wanna protect yourself from the China Virus? Catch a cold. Study shows T cells from common colds cross protect against China Virus infections.
27) Project Veritas shows that military documents about the gain of function contradict Dr. Fallacy’s under-oath testimony.
-Can we please put the Fuhrer of Fear in jail now?
28) And finally, the University of Georgia’s mascot, a bulldog named Uga, was caught falling asleep in the middle of the NCAA title game—which his team won.
-Being a team mascot is a heavy responsibility.
And that’s Today’s News