The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow
IN POLITICAL NEWS
1) Rutabaga has given Zero’s ex chief Spooge Susan Rice Crispy sweeping power for a “racial equity” makeover of the U.S. government with “equity teams” to be established to run departments and reeducate employees.
-I quote “Disco Inferno” here. Burn this motha down.
2) Michigan swing voters want Rutabaga gone, say Trump looks younger.
3) The Rutabaga, trying to blast Governor Ron DeSantis for considering multiple options for high schoolers to get college credit, got owned for endorsing school choice.
4) The explosion in East Palestine may send hazardous crap up to 1200 miles east of the Mississippi. The author’s recommendation is that if you live east of the Mississippi, leave for at least two weeks.
5) One lawyer says residents in East Palestine “may already be undergoing DNA mutations.”
6) . . . while Cincinnati officials have closed off all intake of Ohio River water, likely started passing through on February 19.
-If you drink too much Ohio River water, you become intoxinated.
7) Shocked! Shocked, I tell ya. The U.S. has ended search for debris from either of the two airborne objects shot down over Alaska and Lake Huron. Did you guys look in Roswell, New Mexico?
8) In ensuring we lose any war with Peru, Sierra Leone, or Fiji, the U.S. Navy has dropped physical fitness requirements.
9) Concerned that Benghazi-on-the-Lake is winning too many accolades for its tranquility, the mayor of Columbus, Georgia, where nine children have been shot outside a gas station, says the community must “reclaim our young people.”
-Well, mayor, several options here:
1. Turn it into an electric vehicle charging station.
2. Implement fast track transoidism.
3. Accelerate the war on men.
Any of those three would likely work to eliminate children getting shot.
10) It Looks like the Protestants are at it again. Catholic Bishop David O’Connell is shot dead, as police say it looks “Suspicious.” Quick, send CSI to the local Presbyterian Church.
11) Former president Jesus Carter has been moved to hospice at age 98.
IN ECONOMIC NEWS
12) U.S. bankruptcies had the worst start since 2010, and credit card delinquencies are growing as well.
13) The last car dealership run by the great showman/salesman Cal Worthington (“I’m Cal Worthingon, and this is my dog spot,” he would say, posing next to a tiger or a bull) has sold.
14) We hear these stories regularly. A couple required 12 charging stops on a trip from Michigan to Florida.
-My Mercedes can do this on, at most, two. But wait for it! Each charging stop lasted from 20 to 55 minutes!!
Next time, take a mule train. It will be faster.
15) JPMorgan Chase and Bank of Amigo have both reported rising delinquencies.
16) The male posing as a female Assistant Secretary for Health, “Roger” Levine, discussed revenue opportunities resulting from hiring transoids.
IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS
17) The UK is training the Ukes to fight “in the Western way” with less ammunition.”
COMMENT: First, this is a red flag that not only are the Ukes running out of ammo, but so are the Brits. Second, as more and more of Ukraine’s front line troops have been killed, the new recruits do what newbies do, fire more indiscriminately, using still more ammo. Not sure that the “western way of war” is to use less ammo. At the Battle of Rorke’s Drift in 1879, 120 British redcoats held off 4,000 Zulu in part because they operated an ammo storage depot and fired almost all of the 20,000 rounds they had at the depot!
18) A UK member of parliament, a “conservative” (but a Brit RINO), lost his seat.
19) Winkin, Blinken, and Nod is trying to gin up a war with China by saying they are considering providing “lethal support” to the Russkies.
IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
20) Actress Stella Stevens of the “Poseidon Adventure” and “Nutty Professor” died at age 84.
21) NYPD Blue actor Austin Majors has died at age 27 of a fentanyl overdose.
22) Actor Richard Belzer, the acerbic Detective John Munch on “Law and Order SVU,” died at age 78.
23) And “Saving Private Ryan,” Tom Sizemore is in critical condition after a brain aneurysm.
24) “South Park” has turned on Megxit and the Ginger Duke: “There’s no coming back.” I guess they mean from the Spooge List.
25) Former “Sex and the City” star Chris Noth (“Meester Beeg”) has been reduced to promoting a card game on Instagram following his sexual assault allegations.
26) Well, this is encouraging: almost 2/3 of Gen Zers say they want to ditch dating apps and social media to find love in more traditional ways, saying online dating has “killed true romance.”
27) A Texas fitness influencer will stand trial for sending anorexics a $300 weight loss plan.
28) A player from the G-league, unknown, won the NBA slam dunk contest performing a 540 degree spin dunk. Mac McClung is the first non-NBA player to ever win.
IN CHINA VIRUS NEWS
29) Florida’s Surgeon General has issued a health alert on mRNA China Virus vax safety, saying there has been a 1,700 percent increase in reports of life threatening conditions following the vax.
30) Myocarditis, once rare, is now common, says this doctor.
-You know what else used to be rare, but is now common? Teen suicide and depression. Both have origins in the China Virus vax and lockdowns.
31) Steve Kirsch has an excellent plan to force the FAA to investigate pilot heart issues.
32) Be watchful of this: the gubment says it, not Moderna, should face the China Virus vax patent infringement lawsuit. Something is up.
33) The evil spudgepuck Rochelle Walensky, the director of the CDC, says that pro-maskie “guidance” is here to stay regardless of data. The maskiopaths are ecstatic.
34) A Canadian newsreader was fired after letting her hair go gray when she stopped dying her hair during the China Virus.
-Dunno, but I personally think gray hair is sexy.
AND THAT’S TODAY’S NEWS
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- Larry Schweikart
- Rock drummer
- NYTimes #1 bestselling author
- Political pundit
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Larry Schweikart is the co-author with Michael Allen of the NYTimes #1 bestseller, A Patriot's History of the United States, and is the founder of the history curriculum site, the Wild World of History, and the new spinoff Wild World of Politics. Larry can be found at Substack under Larry Schweikart and, for as long as they allow him, at Twitter @LarrySchweikart and on Gettr @OtherWalls and on TruthSocial @CyberneticsLS
Larry's latest book, Dragonslayers: Six Presidents and their War with the Swamp, is now available wherever books are sold! You can listen to his interview with Tracy Beanz on Dark to Light HERE