The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow
IN POLITICAL NEWS
1) Whoop dere it is! Whoop dere it is. Biteme has hit the 20s! Civiqs, which I maintain has been a leader in terms of catching the trend, has the Rutabaga at 29%.
2) According to Gallup, only five presidents have ever been in the 20s—Harry Truman at 22%, Nixon at 24%, Jesus Carter at 28%, H.W. Bush at 29%, and W during the Iraq war and financial meltdown at 25%.
-Come on, Rutabaga! We’re counting on you to set a new record.
We’re counting on you to set a new record!
3) Biteme, incapable of speaking without a teleprompter, is also incapable of understanding when he is being cued. Here he repeats “End of quote. Repeat the line.” God this fungal toadstool is stupidly evil.
4) Is America the last ideological empire? And can Trump rescue us before Biteme destroys us?
5) Even as Black Looters Matter looted businesses it received SBA funding.
6) Speaking of Black Looters Matter, their “art fellowship” program which was cited as the reason they needed a $6 million mansion, is nowhere to be found.
7) The Wisconsin Supreme Court has ruled that a transoid woman cannot change his name because he is a sex offender.
-This is gonna get so ridiculously weird til we put a stop to this nonsense.
8) GOP state legislative candidates are ahead on the generic ballot in . . .
9) A Wyoming Senator says there “are not enough DemoKKKrats” to help Liz Clusterbomb Cheney win the GOP primary.
10) Here is a clip of that fine lad, Hunter Biteme, arguing with a hooker about how much crack he has. His dad, the Rutabaga, insists he only has one crack.
11) Another shot at Biteme from the New York Slimes: The Rutabaga is “testing the boundaries of age and the presidency,” not to mention testing the one brain cell he has functioning.
They are desperate to ditch this guy, folks.
12) Steve Bannon, having forced discovery on the corrupt Jan. 6 Patriot Day committee, now says he’ll testify. This should be fun.
13) The Daily Wildebeest freaks out that Biteme called abortion rights activists “out of step.” Walk back in 3. . . 2 . . . 1 . . .
14) Woke Oberlin College has been slapped with an interest charge of $4 million for dragging its heels in paying the $36 million defamation loss to Gibson’s Bakery.
Good. Slap ‘em hard, slimy burritoboogers.
IN ECONOMIC NEWS
15) Wells Fargo has taken control of a 610 Marriot Chicago building for $251 million during a foreclosure auction when the owner hadn’t paid the bank in a year. “The foreclosure is a possible sign of distress . . . .”
16) The labor force refuses to grow. Payrolls are down 524,000 from the Trump era, and households that reported working people fell by 315,000 in June and 347,000 in the last three months. Boomers, facing age discrimination, have stopped actively looking for work.
17) The Fed is expected to raise the target rate 75 basis points as recession fears grow.
18) Car repossessions are exploding, and that ain’t good.
19) . . .while the monthly average car loan payment has hit $1,000, or double that of just a year ago.
IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS
20) The revolt against the elites has gone global as Sri Lanka was literally chasing down politicians in the streets after the nation defaulted on its loans and 30,000 Dutch farmers staged a massive farm convoy.
-If you elite spoogecylinders see guillotines, ya might wanna consider resigning quickly.
21) And Argentina may be next as masses of protesters gather to demand the government resign.
22) . . . and in Ecuador.
23) Anti-American Women’s basketballer Brittney Griner is now stuck in a Russkie hoosecow.
24) The Biteme Crime Family is now challenging the Clinton Crime Syndicate as Rutabaga sold 950,000 barrels of U.S. oil to a ChiCom company Hunter is tied to.
25) After the assassination of ex-prime minister Shinzo Abe, Japan’s party hands the liberal DemoKKKrats there a defeat resulting in a super-majority.
IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
26) Mark Steyn celebrates the classic movie “Zulu,” but gets a few things wrong. You’ll have to check my Twit feed to see what.
26) Marvel is back with “Thor: Love and Thunder,” smashing the box office with a $143 million debut. Gotta admit I love Chris Hemsworth’s Thor.
27) Cameron Diaz claims she was once used as a “mule” to smuggle substances from Paris to Morocco.
-Just think, she could have been doing something completely legal like smuggling ballots for Biteme.
28) Finally, leaked texts from Hunter Biteme show that he called the Senior Skank, Jilly, a “vindictive moron.” Course, that label could apply to the Rutabaga too, so who knows who a coked-up Hunter was referring to? But he apparently referred to her as the “c” word.
-Course, I get banned on Twit if I call her the Senior Skank, so . . . .
And That's Today's News...
Larry Schweikart is the co-author with Michael Allen of the NYTimes #1 bestseller, A Patriot's History of the United States, and is the founder of the history curriculum site, the Wild World of History. Larry can be found at Substack under Larry Schweikart and, for as long as they allow him, at Twitter @WallsOther and on Gettr @OtherWalls and on TruthSocial @CyberneticsLS
Larry's latest book, Dragonslayers: Six Presidents and their War with the Swamp is now available wherever books are sold! You can listen to his interview with Tracy Beanz on Dark to Light HERE