The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow
1) The baby formula crisis has sparked a steep decline in support for Biteme and the DemoKKKrats among suburban mothers, er, “birthing people.”
2) And in another feel-good story, Biteme is hemorrhaging Trump voters who supported him in 2020. Now just three in ten who say they voted for him (ahem, “81 million votes.” Uh huh) say they would vote for him again.
3) The wronged Michael Flynn has filed a $50 million suit against the feds in a prelude to a lawsuit over the “Muh Russia” probe.
4) Senator Chris Van Hollen (D-MD) after blasting pundits who disseminated “disinformation” about the China Virus (i.e., after telling the truth) had a stroke. I’m sure he was vaxxed.
5) And the leading DemoKKKrat Pennsylvania U.S. Senate candidate John Fetterman also suffered a stroke. Vaxxed?
6) President Trump has thanked the Demented Pervert for crowning him the “Great MAGA King.” I can’t think in recent memory when an attack has been so quickly and embarrassingly reversed on the attacker. Maybe Reagan’s “I will not exploit my opponent’s youth and inexperience for political purposes” on Mon-Dull’s attack on his age.
7) Even Vox admits Biteme’s “rescue plan” worsened inflation.
8) Biteme has told his staff to shift to campaign mode. That’s right. It’s May 2022. Two years and six months before the 2024 election. Must think he has some real ground to make up.
9) Perhaps they might want to start with the outraged moms who have learned he won’t allow baby formula imports because he was napping and failed to make changes to import rules.
10) In Beetlejuice’s paradise known as Benghazi-by-the-Lake, a mere 33 were shot and only five were killed in weekend violence.
11) Beetlejuice has therefore imposed a 10:00 p.m. curfew for unaccompanied minors. Oh, wait! She forced about 1/3 of the Chicago Police Department out due to the moronic vax mandate. How ya gonna enforce that, Beetlejuice?
12) A Pew survey has found inflation is the #1 concern among Americans, the China Virus dead last.
13) Over 87% of Americans say it is very or somewhat likely they will stop using a product that openly advocates a political agenda they disagree with.
IN ECONOMIC NEWS
14) China’s economy has crashed worse than expected after the new lockdowns.
15) Gasoline, diesel, and jet fuel refining capacity in the U.S. is too low to meet demand.
-Just as Biteme planned it.
16) Euro natural gas prices are about to triple due to a “perfect storm” of Russkies shutting off access and greenweenies blocking new development.
Hope it hurts, Euros. A lot.
17) The U.S. and Euros now have started to race to fix the food supply chains after India banned its wheat exports. Why fix them now? You’ve waited two years.
18) File under: Work is so hard. The top 5% ers among the Goldman Sachs staff is to get unlimited holidays and senior bankers are allowed as many days off as they want to tackle complaints about . . . hard work.
19) All the pandemic favorites such as NFTs, SPACs, and Bitcoin have collapsed as the world returns to normal—everywhere except in New Kabul and Kollyfornia.
IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS
20) First Sri Lanka, now Pock-eee-stan is facing bankruptcy as its economy crumbles. Thanks, Dr. Fallacy. Thanks, Ardern. Thanks, Biteme.
21) Rejoicing all over Russia as Mcdonald's announces it will pull out due to the difficulty of doing business there. In other words, not enough people assaulting employees cuz they were out of Chicken McNuggets.
22) Japan’s digital performance is “dismal.” Japan once led global tech innovation: how did it fall so far behind? (Answer: state-backed innovation couldn’t keep up with the private sector).
23) Glenn Greenwald quotes the Washington Compost as warning that a “flood of weapons to Ukraine raises fear of arms smuggling.” Nah, don’t worry Glenn. Those weapons were pre-sold.
24) The great Democrat and Abraham Lincoln of his people, Volodymyr Zelensky makes it official by signing a law this weekend banning opposing parties and seizing their property.
IN INTERGALACTIC NEWS
25) Whiny space tourists say they were too busy on the space station because, like, you know, going to space involves actual work.
IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
26) It is the gift that keeps on giving. In the Amber Heard/Johnny Depp trial, Heard’s new PR guru hired to portray Depp as an alcohol-binging abuser is himself known as a “sex pest” who is known as the “walking #MeToo case.”
27) And finally, you just can’t keep up with the inflation jokes these days:
*I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail
*I asked for a Blue Book estimate on my car and they said “Full or empty?”
*McDonald’s is offering a Quarter-ouncer.
And my favorite, which my Mormon friend urged me to include:
*Inflation is so bad I just saw a Mormon with one wife.
And that's Today's News
Larry Schweikart is the co-author with Michael Allen of the NYTimes #1 bestseller, A Patriot's History of the United States, and is the founder of the history curriculum site, the Wild World of History. Larry can be found at Substack under Larry Schweikart and, for as long as they allow him, at Twitter @WallsOther and on Gettr at @OtherWalls and SOON on TruthSocial!
Larry's latest book, Dragonslayers: Six Presidents and their War with the Swamp is now available wherever books are sold! You can listen to his interview with Tracy Beanz on Dark to Light HERE