The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow
IN POLITICAL NEWS
1) The blockbuster story of the day is a leak to Politico on the Supreme Court, which has voted to overturn Roe v. Wade and Casey. Keeping in mind this is a) a leak and b) from the DemoKKKrats fave leaking reporter, nevertheless, the leak claims Justice Samuel Alito wrote the majority opinion saying “We hold that Roe and Casey must be overruled.”
2) The leak itself has roiled Washington, with the likely leaker being a Sotomayor clerk Amit Jain, who blasted Yale for supporting Kegger Kavanaugh’s nomination.
3) Conservatives have called for an immediate investigation into the leak. A Senate with any cajones would insist that the Justice whose clerk leaked resign because it could not have happened without foreknowledge.
4) According to the leak, John Roberts (of course) sided with the liberals. What a useless piece of fecal matter. Thank you George W. Bush.
5) Senator Ed Malarkey (MA) renews calls to “pack the court.” Good luck, Edster. By the time you get anything through Yertle’s obstruction, you’re going to allow Donald Trump to put the Court out of reach for a century.
6) Former Speaker Newt Gingrich predicted that Republicans would gain a historic 70 seats in November.
7) Fartacus, aka Eric Swalwell, has used the leak to try to drum up midterm support for DemoKKKrats. They will find this cuts both ways. The pro-life vote, now that it sees the possible, will turn out like never before.
8) Out of ideas, out of ammunition, the Patriot Day (January 6) committee has now targeted donors.
-Once in power, the GOP must absolutely crush this committee with as many sanctions and actions as it can possibly muster.
9) Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. has sued Sen. Elizabeth Warren for using her government position to stifle his free speech on Amazon by calling his book “unlawful.”
10) A factual criticism of the Rutabaga’s administration has been censored hundreds of times already by the Hoax News Media.
-Shocked! Shocked, I tell ya!
11) DemoKKKrat Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard (Hottie-Hawaii) called Biteme “just a frontman,” presumably for Zero who, on April 21 said that social media censors didn’t go far enough.”
12) A U.S. pediatricians’ group has moved to ban race-based guidance. You know, because whites get sickle-cell anemia as much as blacks, right? Or that Hispanics are as likely to get Tay-Sachs Disease.
-The corruption at every level of American society from wokeness needs to be purged with a flamethrower.
13) Whiny Wisconsin legislators call it quits after being confronted with fraud—about which they did nothing. Good riddance.
-Folks, the U.S. political map is being remade from the bottom up.
14) The largest wildfire in the U.S. is out of control in New Mexico.
15) Meanwhile, in Las Vegas, the continued influx of population combined with golf courses and green yards has produced a massive water shortage. Vegas plans to draw from deeper within Lake Mead.
-Pssst. To quote the late Sam Kinison, “You live in a DESERT!”
16) Of course, you could “move to where the food is,” except not to Subway, which is struggling, losing 1,043 outlets in 2021, in no small part because the franchise hired the useless glazzdazzler former soccer player Megan Rapinoe as its national spokesman.
-Well, I guess she’s better than the pedophile guy.
17) The U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that flying the Christian flag is protected by the First Amendment. 9-0.
18) Biteme’s newly-named minister of propaganda, Nina Jankowicz, in 2020, said the government should not be in the “business” of policing “disinformation.” What a difference an appointment makes.
19) There is a transoid public health crisis sweeping America: “The end goal isn’t self-actualization, it’s self-annihilation.”
20) TruetheVote compiled evidence of organized ballot trafficking in six states, with 242 traffickers who made 5,662 trips to dump hundreds of thousands of illegal votes in 2020.
21) Top DemoKKKrat election hoaxer undermined both sides’ confidence in elections.
IN ECONOMIC NEWS
22) The typical buyer’s monthly house payment is up 39.4%—the biggest gain on record. Expectations of fed tightening caused the jump.
23) Elon Musk has hinted that the hateful biased Vijay Gadde, Twitter’s top censor, may be first in line for a job cut.
-Couldn’t happen to a nicer piece of spooge.
24) Manufacturing reports were disappointing and employment tumbled.
25) According to a Washington Compost/ABC poll, 94% of Americans are worried about inflation.
-Six percent of Americans are ChiCom agents.
26) Hispanics have lost faith in DemoKKKrats, partly due to inflation, and partly due to illegal immigration.
IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
27) Actress Amber Heard, involved in a divorce struggle with Captain Jack Sparrow, fired her entire PR team after a psychologist testified she was nuts with two personality disorders.
-It is reported that one of her personalities covered herself in olive oil and feathers while the other one tried to go duck hunting. But these are just rumors. Really. I mean, who really believes she tried to breathe underwater as Aquababe?
28) A 21-year-old “OnlyFans” stripper model who claims to be a Mensa Club member insists on giving potential partners an IQ test so she “doesn’t waste her time with idiots.”
-Is discriminating against DemoKKKrats permitted?
IN CHINA VIRUS NEWS
29) They are just now figuring out that people may have been given the wrong vaxxes. But what about whether they should have been given any vaxxes?
30) House Republicans on the Energy & Commerce Committee have sent a letter to the acting director of the National Institute of Health demanding an investigation of Peter Daszac and EcoHealth Alliance for coverup and fraud related to Wuhan research.
31) Denmark is getting rid of the evidence, destroying China Virus vaxxes.
32) Study:being hospitalized with the China Virus ages the brain by 20 years and shaves 10 points off your IQ. Another good reason never to go to the hospital if you can help it.
33) And finally, a 47-year-old-man had a new penis attached to his arm for six years after the original item fell off during a blood infection and now, thanks to merciful surgery, has it back in the right place.
-Not gonna touch this one with a 10-foot condom.
And that's Today's News
Larry Schweikart is the co-author with Michael Allen of the NYTimes #1 bestseller, A Patriot's History of the United States, and is the founder of the history curriculum site, the Wild World of History. Larry can be found at Substack under Larry Schweikart and, for as long as they allow him, at Twitter @WallsOther and on Gettr at @OtherWalls and SOON on TruthSocial!
Larry's latest book, Dragonslayers: Six Presidents and their War with the Swamp is now available wherever books are sold! You can listen to his interview with Tracy Beanz on Dark to Light HERE