The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow
IN POLITICAL NEWS
1) As we knew at the time, the disgusting Adam (“Schifty”) Schiff didn’t just participate in the “Muh Russia” conspiracy but had a key role.
-This turdlet belongs behind bars, with a nice bunkmate named Abu Mohammed.
2) The latest Morning Consult/Politico poll has the Rutabaga losing to any Republican nominee by nine.
3) A fed informant tied to the Russia Hoax was found dead after turning over the Deutsche Bank files. You know, the ones that cleared Trump.
-Is this the left, afraid of Durham, engaged in cleanup?
4) Our own uncoverdc.com reports that the “Democracy Fund” is just the latest “independent and nonpartisan” leftist lunatic group out to steal elections.
5) Yep, what I’ve been sayin’. The Left waged a war on the American psyche and lost. We still have not begun to see the full fury of Americans when everyone figures this out. But they will.
6) The Rutabaga tells teachers “they are not somebody else’s children. They’re yours when you’re in the classroom.”
-“All your children belong to us.”
7) Due to supply chain issues, it will be years before Raytheon can build new Stinger missiles.
8) Lockdowns drove tens of thousands of children into “clinical depression.”
-These evil clud-drubbers who did this for a year should never see power or authority again.
9) In the case no one will investigate, high living Hunter Biteme blew tens of thousands of dollars on prostitutes, drugs, and kickbacks to the “big guy” as he avoided jail for $320,000 in unpaid taxes.
10) “Brisk” walking may slow aging by 20 years.
-Unless you’re “briskly” walking through Benghazi-by-the-Lake, better known as Chicago.
11) Under the Rutabaga, illegal alien invaders have increased by 1 million, costing taxpayers $143 billion a year.
12) West Haven, Connecticut Mayor Nancy Rossi, under pressure to resign for improperly spending China Virus money, says she won’t resign “today, or any day.”
-Hmm. Didn’t Louis XVI say that? There are remedies.
13) New Mogadishu (San Francisco) tech giant Pay Pal is closing its office there, failing to identify high crime, horrible regulations, homeless, and a general culture of spooge in the city as its reasons for shutting down.
14) A non-profit and leftist activists (surprise, surprise) are behind the effort to kick MAGA people off the ballots.
-So far, ain’t workin’.
15) An Ohio school board president has been forced to resign over a video of him attempting to seduce an 11-year-old girl.
-Look at it this way: he has a great job at Disney waiting for him as one of the ride attendants at Groomer Mountain.
16) Can’t make this up. Kenosha Parks Committee is considering honoring career criminal Anthony Huber who tried to kill Kyle Rittenhouse with a memorial plaque and tree in a local park.
17) A new book has claimed that Yertle overestimated the number of GOP senators who would vote to convict Trump.
-This fecal-pimple must be driven from office as soon as humanly possible.
18) Well, do we still “Trust the Science?” A new study in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy says homosexuals make up a higher percentage of pedophiles than heterosexuals.
IN ECONOMIC NEWS
19) U.S. economic growth “unexpectedly” declined in the first quarter by 1.4%.
-“Unexpectedly.” These scabpickers. We’ve shut off domestic energy production, still don’t have trucking at 100%, still have container ships offshore, have shut down imports of fertilizer from the Russkies, and have outrageous inflation but . . . “unexpectedly.”
20) Bidenflation now at 25% year over year.
21) And he’s on a winning streak: Elon Musk, having just submitted a bid for Twitter that was accepted, just won a $13 billion suit over the Solar City deal that Tesla stockholders called a “bailout.”
22) Twit admits it has overstated the number of users for years.
-Shocked! Shocked, I tell ya.
23) The Rutabaga, finally actually seeing the economy shrink, now is “concerned” about a recession in 2023.
-We’re only “concerned” that you might be removed Biteme. See, we WANT you on that wall, we NEED you on that wall to eradicate the DemoKKKrat Party once and for all. Hang in there, buddy.
24) Flailing DemoKKKrats desperately try to lower gas prices for consumers, failing to realize that it can only be done by adding more supply, not through gubment edicts.
25) Apple stock takes a massive after-hours dive after Tim Cook warns of an $8 billion supply chain hit . . . you know, the one no one saw coming?
IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS
26) Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro celebrated Elon Musk’s Twit takeover.
27) In a major backfire, Russia’s fossil fuel revenues have doubled since the invasion of Ukraine.
28) Italy has become the first western nation to test an app that monitors behavior for a social credit score.
-You guys remember what happened to Il Duce, right?
IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
29) ESPN Sports Center anchor Sage Steele has sued the network over retaliation for comments made on a podcast about the vax. Good thing she made these comments on a podcast, cuz no one would have heard them if she’d said it on the unwatched ESPN.
IN CHINA VIRUS NEWS
30) A physician says “What I’ve seen in the last two years [relative to pregnant women and China Virus vaxxes] is unprecedented.
-Many of us warned you. Why would you ever agree to inject yourself with something that had been tested as much as a carnival fair ride?
31) Meanwhile, CDC employees know, as hundreds remain unvaxxed. Good for them. We’re gonna need someone alive at CDC when this is over.
32) Twenty-two countries finally give it up and have dropped maskie mandates.
33) A New Zealand court said leftist Jacinda Ardern’s China Virus border closures were illegal.
-This is the problem with courts. WHEN they work, they’re way, way too late to stop the damage.
34) A top virologist says that the China Virus vax complications will “collapse our healthcare system.” In other words, the vaxxes will do what they claimed the virus would do.
35) No sooner does the World UN Health Organization tell us there was no danger of hepatitis from the vaxxes than a new study in the Journal of Hepatology says in fact there is.
-But you know, “trust the science.”
36) The New Hampshire Senate Committee has passed no-prescription ivermectin legislation.
-Now New Hampshirites can get the same meds as Congress!
37) And finally a petition calling for the movie Aquaman 2 to drop Amber Heard from the cast has passed two million signatures.
-I guess you could say that her image is . . . underwater?
And that's Today's News
Larry Schweikart is the co-author with Michael Allen of the NYTimes #1 bestseller, A Patriot's History of the United States, and is the founder of the history curriculum site, the Wild World of History. Larry can be found at Substack under Larry Schweikart and, for as long as they allow him, at Twitter @WallsOther and on Gettr at @OtherWalls and SOON on TruthSocial!
Larry's latest book, Dragonslayers: Six Presidents and their War with the Swamp is now available wherever books are sold! You can listen to his interview with Tracy Beanz on Dark to Light HERE