The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow
IN POLITICAL NEWS
1) Another hoax against Trump falls apart with the so-called “missing” phone logs—the January 6 Patriot Day record shows the phone calls were all recorded on landlines.
2) Biteme continues to try to flood the country with illegals, as more than 500,000 per month are expected at the southern border when the Rutabaga removes the Trump-era Title 42 restriction.
3) In one of the most stunning and shameful policies ever, the Department of Health and Human Services—following the Rutabaga’s instruction—has approved castrations and mastectomies for so-called transoid minors.
-These castrations and mastectomies should begin at HHS.
4) More scandals envelop the scandalous FBI.
-Shocked. Shocked, I tell ya.
5) While there has been another counterintelligence breach at the NSA as an employee willfully transmitted national defense information.
-And his name wasn’t Hunter Biteme.
6) A judge has struck down a New York congressional map drawn with “political bias.”
COMMENT: Earlier in the process, conservatives were wringing their hands that states congressional maps were being stolen. In the last few weeks, however, Ohio’s supreme court relented to the state GOP-favorable map; Arizona’s map looks like a gain of between one and three Republican seats, and Governor Ron DeSantis vetoed the Florida legislature’s map that was overly generous to DemoKKKrats. Only in North Carolina has the state supreme court perpetuated a D-friendly map, and in Missouri, the jury is still out. Still, with New York now, the GOP already looks to gain 4-7 more seats merely on redistricting in these four states.
7) While we’re on the subject of judges, an Ohio 9th District Court of Appeals has upheld the massive $15 million verdict against Oberlin College from Gibson’s Bakery wherein the college accused the bakery of racial profiling.
-You go, Gibson Bakery!
8) That embodiment of walking brain fungus, Congresswoman Maxine Waters (i.e., James Brown) tells a crowd of homeless people to “go home.”
-I repeat, she told the homeless to go home.
9) Governor Ron DeSantis of Florida has welcomed Americans fleeing the “Dumpster Fire” states and is on a pace to make Florida the most prosperous and reddest state in the Union.
10) A victim of Jeffrey (He didn’t kill himself) Epstein said she was raped three times a day on Epstein Island where the pedophile ran a “factory of abuse.
-And where Bill Clinton visited, multiple times.
IN ECONOMIC NEWS
11) The March jobs report came in nearly 60,000 short of “expectations.”
12) Biteme told families they could save $500 a month by shifting to renewable energy (a lie) then the White House corrected his statement to $500 a year (also a lie).
13) As gas prices soar, Biteme’s ridiculous climate ambitions have sputtered.
-Sort of like Biteme himself.
14) Good for them: the oil companies refused to participate in a gas price hearing, otherwise known as a witch hunt, sponsored by DemoKKKrats.
15) The elites have just figured out that the “muh Russia” sanctions threaten the dollar.
-We keep pitchin’ em and they keep missin’ em. (Foghorn Leghorn)
IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
16) Disney is going Full Perv with new starring roles for transoids.
-Ya never go Full Perv.
17) Oscars producer says Chris Rock “saved” the ceremonies with his “grace and aplomb.”
-It also didn’t hurt that he could take a punch. Er, a slap.
18) In New Calcutta (otherwise known as Los Angeles), cops were ready to arrest Will Smith for battery, but Chris Rock did not want to press charges.
IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS
19) Ukrainian president Zelensky has dismissed two Uke generals for being “traitors.”
20) Spanish conservatives and populists could form an outright majority in parliament.
21) In an extended story from yesterday, German inflation has hit the highest level since the fall of the Berlin Wall and the government has cut growth forecasts in half.
IN CHINA VIRUS NEWS
22) From Germany, the general vax mandate is a dead letter in the German Bundestag.
23) Dr. Fallacy shut down all lab-leak theories after being schmoozed by gain-of-function researcher Peter Daszak.
24) And finally, a Temple University professor claims aliens have abducted humans and living on earth before the pending invasion.
-Well, that explains Congress.
25) I lied: one more, cuz it’s too weird not to report. A mother of eight is pregnant with her own grandchild after offering to be a surrogate for her 24-year-old infertile daughter.
This gives new meaning to the phrase, “He’s so inbred he’s his own uncle.”
And that's Today's News
Larry Schweikart is the co-author with Michael Allen of the NYTimes #1 bestseller, A Patriot's History of the United States, and is the founder of the history curriculum site, the Wild World of History. Larry can be found at Substack under Larry Schweikart and, for as long as they allow him, at Twitter @WallsOther and on Gettr at @OtherWalls and SOON on TruthSocial!