The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow
IN POLITICAL NEWS
1) More tarnish on the nearly invisible legacy of President Zero: Obama led an effort to build a Ukraine-based bio lab for handling “especially dangerous pathogens.”
-Zero is thrilled that Biteme replaced him as the worst president in history.
2) The DOJ has offered a plea deal of a 70-87 month prison sentence to the Patriot Day protester who put his feet up on Botoxic’s desk.
3) Meanwhile, a Pulitzer Prize-winning New York Slimes reporter claimed the media coverage of Patriot Day (January 6) was an “overreaction” and admits the FBI was involved.
4) Another one of the Rutabaga’s spoogific appointees, Energy Secretary Jennifer (Granola) Granholm said that if a nuke deal with Iran increases the supply of Iranian oil, “so be it.”
5) The Morning Consult poll has found that 45% of voters think the Rutabaga is “mentally unfit” to be president, meaning that 55% are themselves mentally unfit to be active citizens.
6) Another poll shows most DemoKKKrats would flee the country if it was invaded.
-Not only an evil party but a cowardly one.
7) Well, this will fix things: Vice President Kampuchea Harris has flown to Poland after the Poles rejected U.S. urging to hand over jets to Ukraine (possibly involving NATO in a war) and instead . . . gave them to us.
-The Poles said, essentially, “You want a war? You start it.”
8) Israeli officials who have held talks with both Zelensky and Pootie-poot say Ukraine faces a “critical choice” of capitulation or calamity.
9) The U.S. ambassador has told Americans to “leave Russia now” or think of a way to do so “without the help of the embassy.”
IN ECONOMIC NEWS
10) Just as Biteme and his evil minions are seeking to move everyone into public transportation, America’s commuter rail services are going under.
11) From Wolf Richter, the “giant seven” stocks are down 13% to a whopping 51% (Metabeta) from their highs.
12) Toyota, the world’s largest car manufacturer, is returning to the Russkie market already.
13) About those Russian oil imports . . . the U.S. only imports about 10% of its total from Russia.
14) Even Reuters is ridiculing Biteme’s strategy of blaming U.S. gas hikes on Pootie-poot.
15) French politician Marie Le Pen warned the EU that banning Russkie oil would be tantamount to “harakiri.”
16) Congress has asked for an investigation of Amazon for failing to provide internal reports on unfair competition.
17) Meanwhile, the scandal-ridden Communist News Network (CNN) has paid Jeff Zucker $10 million for his silence.
-Indeed, it appears silence is golden.
18) While we’re on the topic of scandal-ridden, the DOJ revealed that it is investigating Barry Diller, David Geffen, and Alexander von Furstenberg for insider trading related to Activision Blizzard’s sale to Microsoft.
IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
19) CNN’s new boss has told Blind Lemon Don and Jim Accosted to “tone down” their opinionated reporting.
-That’s like asking an addict to “tone down” his heroin addiction.
20) Ah-weck Baldwin, the greatest actor in history, claims lawsuits over his shooting a cinematographer on the set of “Rust” are because he has “deep pockets.”
-I dunno, Ah-weck. Maybe they just want all your Oscars.
21) The woman at the center of the “Gone Girl” abduction hoax, Sherri Papini, has been released on $120,000 bond.
22) Steve Jobs’ kids are finding their own fortunes after their father refused to leave them a large inheritance.
23) Tesla-driving Stephen Colbert ($16 million a year salary) preaches to ordinary Americans that high gas prices are worth a “clean conscience.”
-Gee, Stevie, what if you think this war isn’t in our national interest? Would that also be a “clean conscience?”
24) Billionaire New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft, 80, is engaged to a beautiful doctor, age 47.
-But, of course, it’s for his looks.
25) This has to be entertainment news: Border cops found 52 snakes and horned lizards tied up in bags and hidden in a man’s “pockets and groin” as he tried to smuggle them into Kollyfornia from Mexico.
-Kinda gives a whole new slant on the term “horny.”
IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS
26) In what can only be considered a major snub, neither the Saudis nor the United Arab Emirate would even answer Biteme’s phone call.
27) Researchers have found the Endurance, Ernest Shackleton’s ship lost when the ice crushed it in 1915 in the Antarctic.
-Word is they also found Jimmy Hoffa’s frozen body aboard.
28) Tory MP Robert Jenrick has warned that his country could face an additional 1,200 pounds sterling expenses a year in its household heating and gasoline bills due to cutting off Russkie oil.
29) Sweden has ruled out joining NATO, saying membership would destabilize Europe.
IN CHINA VIRUS NEWS
30) Austria has suspended its vaxiopathic law forcing all adults to get a vax and has admitted the “encroachment of fundamental rights” is not justified.
31) The early findings from the China Virus vax studies are “potentially alarming,” says Dr. Peter McCullough.
32) The fanaticism of vaxiopaths fueled skepticism by the vax-resistant, say Jay Bhattacharya and Martin Kulldorf.
33) Another study supports Ivermectin (meaning fewer deaths compared to the approved Remdesvir)
34) Backwards Hawaii becomes the last state to end the indoor maskie mandate.
35) Finally, is your dog depressed? Nearly three-fourths of British dogs show signs of mental health issues.
-Ever think that had something to do with living in England?
By the way, Stanley shows no signs of depression, but we still can’t get him out of that damn mask.
And that's Today's News
Larry Schweikart is the co-author with Michael Allen of the NYTimes #1 bestseller, A Patriot’s History of the United States, and is the founder of the history curriculum site, the Wild World of History. Larry can be found at Substack under Larry Schweikart and, for as long as they allow him, at Twitter @WallsOther and on Gettr at @OtherWalls and SOON on TruthSocial!