The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow
1) House DemoKKKrat #30 announces her retirement.
-Droppin like flies, folks.
2) Another corrupt DemoKKKrat Milwaukee’s juvenile judge pleads guilty to child porn charges.
-Can’t make this up. He is appropriately named Blomme.
3) A bill that would charge doctors for performing an abortion after the 15th week of pregnancy has passed the Arizona Senate.
4) Good news story of the day: all three New Mogadishu, er, San Francisco school board members were bounced in a recall.
5) Normally I don’t see eye-to-eye with Emerald Robinson, but this column is 100% correct. Durham is covering for the FBI and sanitizing as he goes. He’s the Cankles clean-up crew.
6) The Rutabaga had a firm at the center of the Trump hacking scandal on his campaign payroll.
-Of course, he did. Do you see now why Durham won’t find anything substantial, and why Grand Moff Garland hasn’t fired him yet?
7) As fentanyl deaths double, Kampuchea Harris ignores drugs pouring in over the southern border.
-Wait, someone actually expects Harris to do something about anything?
8) A Utah bill targeting classic cars was beaten back as environmental whackos explode.
9) New interviews suggest in 2016 Cankles couldn’t walk a block or even step up into a van. No discussion of what the medical condition actually was.
COMMENT: Between Cankles and Biteme you have two senior citizens who are nevertheless so demonically obsessed with power that they simply cannot leave politics and enjoy a life, however ill-gotten, with their families or do hobbies. This is a sickness.
10) Oh, so Grand Moff Garland is a “personal friend” of Chief Justice John Roberts. I feel so much better now.
11) DemoKKKrats are losing on seven major issues ahead of the mid-terms according to a poll.
12) DemoKKKrat leaders are telling Bitme that he needs to change strategy or staffers.
-How about positions? Didja ever think that maybe it’s what the Rutabaga supports that is alienating 60% of America?
IN ECONOMIC NEWS
13) Remember that 6+% GDP growth from last quarter that most say consisted of jimmied numbers? He’s more proof it was smoke and mirrors: U.S. rents are soaring by 12% as real-time first-quarter GDP crashes to .7%.
IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS
14) The Ottawa police chief Peter Sioly has resigned, no reason given but indications are he disagreed with Justa Turd-o’s crackdown policies.
15) Justa Turd-o authorized bank accounts frozen for social media posts in support of freedom protests and the Canadian Civil Liberties Union woke up to the fact he’s a tyrant.
16) Russia has pulled back troops amid the so-called Ukraine standoff. Many recognized this was a bluff by Pootie-poot, while Biteme sees it as an opportunity to claim his brilliant leadership caused peace to break out.
17) Who says Pootie-poot doesn’t have a sense of humor? The Kremlin told newssniffers that Ukraine should “set an alarm” so that it didn’t sleep through the “attack.”
18) Environmental weenies triggered everywhere as a new study says “worst-case” climate predictions are “no longer plausible.”
-Guess that means, via Sheryl Crow, we now can go back to two squares of toilet paper
19) A new study suggests that the inner core of the earth is not solid at all, but made of a “superionic state” with hydrogen, oxygen, and carbon that can be “forced upward” and reformed into “hydrocarbon chains.” This adds fuel (pardon the pun) to the notion that crude oil is geological, not “fossil fuel.”
20) An Indian court has banned all religious clothing amid a dispute over hijabs. Guess this includes priests’ frocks.
21) Biteme hands Pootie-poot a gift by killing a natural gas pipeline from Israel to Egypt and other Middle Eastern countries
22) The president of El Salvador, asked about Ukraine, says “the real war is in Canada.”
IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
23) Well, all this does is raise more questions: Bob Saget’s family files suit to block further release of records.
24) Actor Zachary Horwitz was sentenced to jail time for his role in a $650 million Ponzi scheme involving fake Netflix and HBO deals.
25) The Ginger Duke, husband of Megxit, Prince Harry, managed to get his hands on the prize, grasping the Super Bowl trophy in a post-game visit to the Rams’ locker room.
-According to the latest gossip, that’s the only prize he’s gotten his hands on.
IN CHINA VIRUS NEWS
26) The DemoKKKrat led Washington state senate has voted to limit Governor Jay Insleaze’s emergency powers after his China Virus abuse of them.
27) An email trail shows how Dr. Fallacy and Francis Collins distorted public views of the China Virus.
28) Coachella and Stagecoach festivals in Kollyfornia will not require masks, proof of vax, or any negative tests for attendees.
-We’re almost done folks. Almost finished with this massive scam.
29) And finally, in our family relations section, a Malaysian female minister advises husbands to beat their stubborn wives “gently.” Another minister for women and family, Rina Harun, said wives should avoid nagging.
-Reportedly, she repeated and repeated and repeated the admonition.