The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow
IN POLITICAL NEWS
1) After calling Fox News reporter Peter Doocy a “stupid son of a bitch,” Biteme’s poll numbers hit new low in the Harvard/Harris Poll (39%). Remember, with margin of error, this could be as low as 36%.
2) The U.S. Supreme Court is hearing a college admissions case that challenges race-based admissions.
3) Julie Kelly, a treasure of a national reporter, has found that neither Kampuchea Harris nor Mike Pence was at the Capitol at the time of the Patriot Day January 6 festivities, rendering charges against the protesters overblown and false. If Pence cannot be proven there (Kampuchea was at DNC headquarters) then hundreds of those sentenced could be exonerated.
4) Senate Majority Leader SpewMore is linked to Pootie-poot’s pipeline.
-Shocked. Shocked, I tell ya.
5) Pennsylvania Republicans shave 95,000 off the DemoKKKrat voter registration edge there (Biteme “won” by 81,000 in 2020). This tracks perfectly with Florida, where Republicans have surged to a lead, and North Carolina, where they have likewise sliced into a statewide DemoKKKrat lead.
6) The Rutabaga calls Peter Doocy of Faux News a “stupid son of a bitch on a hot mic. Apologizes. Doocy says “Nobody has fact-checked him yet.”
7) Now a Monkey Virus? Driver who helped when truck carrying 100 lab monkeys crashed in Pennsylvania now has cough and pink eye. CDC urges anyone in contact with the monkeys to seek medical attention.
8) Another swimmer from the University of Pennsylvania team speaks out against the absurdity of a man, Lia Thomas, competing in women’s sports, saying women are now “third-class citizens.”
-Yep. To the NCAA and so-called “institutions of higher learning,” you are.
9) After backlash, the TSA has acknowledged it is letting illegals use arrest warrants as ID to fly.
10) At anti-China Virus-vax rally, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. says “We have witnessed a coup d’etat against democracy.”
-Bobby, I love ya man, but we ain’t a democracy. We’re a REPUBLIC.
11) An unearthed video shows Dr. Fallacy in 1983 saying kids could get AIDs by being in “close contact” with individuals.
12) An expanded canvass of Pima County, Arizona, showed an initial finding of a 38% error rate in recorded ballots. (i.e., follow-up interviews showed that people were registered and voted at addresses who actually weren’t there).
IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS
13) China’s Huawei pays Tony Two-Toes $1 million for White House lobbying.
14) Ukraine urges calm, says Russkie invasion not imminent, deeply disappointing the Rutabaga who needs a war, and right now!
15) Taiwan intercepts a massive swarm of ChiCom military aircraft as “weak” Biteme is tested around the world.
16) The penal colony known as Australia, in its latest tennis controversy, bans t-shirts with the phrase “Where is Peng Shuai,” referring to a female Chinese tennis star who has gone missing after charging a ChiCom government official with sexual abuse.
17) Meanwhile, 13 million Chinese were finally freed after a month lockdown in Xi’an as a new outbreak is detected in Shanghai. Yeah, let’s see ya shut down one of China’s main sources of income, ChiComs.
18) And more ChiCom news, China builds 27 empty New York Cities.
19) The left’s China Virus hysteria is driving liberal moms away from the DemoKKKrats.
IN ECONOMIC NEWS
20) The U.S. economy has slowed to a “near standstill” as the OhMyGod variant, supply chain delays, and inflation surge buffet it.
21) Wall Street giving up the fear-mongering as well, ordering workers back to the office by February despite the OhMyGod variant.
22) Dow down to 33,966 (almost 2,000 points since January) and futures drop further as investors await Federal Reserve policy meeting.
-One can almost hear the Duke Brothers yelling “Turn the machines back on!”
IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
23) Whiny-voiced former star Neil Young demands Spotify remove his music over false information about vaxxes, saying “they can have [Joe] Rogan or Young . . . not both.”
-To paraphrase Lynnrd Skynnrd, we don’t need you around, anyhow Mr. Young.
24) Evan Rachel Wood claims “boyfriend” Marilyn Manson “essentially raped” her during a music video shoot; forced her to carve an “M” next to her vagina, and decorated their home with Nazi propaganda, telling her Hitler was a “rock star.” Manson denies “false claims.”
-Remember, this is a guy who looks like Lurch from the Addams Family.
IN CHINA VIRUS NEWS
25) The New York maskie mandate for schools has been struck down by a New York State Supreme Court judge.
26) In more evidence we are at the turn, the “fine people” at the FBI searched the Center for COVID Control Headquarters in Illinois following complaints.
27) And more: a Pfizer board member suggests end to maskie and vax mandates.
28) Connecticut’s governor (and horror radio show star) Ned Lamont mandated that nursing homes must require visitors show proof of vax for entry, banning unvaxxed grandchildren.
-Just one more way you know this whole scam is of the devil, folks.
29) FOIA reveals that only 17,371 deaths in the UK can actually be attributed solely to the China Virus.
-So motorcycle accidents were ruled out?
30) Emails show scientists suspected that the China Virus leaked from the Wuhan lab almost immediately, then censored themselves.
-Wouldn’t want to call it the China Virus, would we? China Virus. China Virus. China Virus.
31) And finally, so-called “climate change” activist and former San Luis Obispo mayor Heidi Harmon attempted to travel to a rally in San Francisco in an electric car—but discovered charging her vehicle would take seven hours. She asked the police to send a chopper to rescue her.
-Why didn’t she just ask someone to borrow a can of electricity?
And that's Today's News