The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow
IN POLITICAL NEWS
1) The dyspeptic Bobby Rush (DemoKKKrat-Black Panthers) has announced he will not seek re-election, making him the 24th DemoKKKrat to cash it in since Biteme took office.
2) Theranos fraudster Elizabeth Holmes found guilty in fraud cases.
3) Wayback Machine: then-veep Biteme played a big role in promoting the fraudster Holmes. When does that Rutabaga go to jail?
4) Inside the world of the weird Elizabeth Holmes, who styled herself as Steve Jobs; spoke in a face baritone, told people her dog was a wolf; and captivated old male investors out of millions, including Rupert Murdoch, Henry Kissinger, George Schulz, and “Mad Dog” Mattis.
5) Some small measure of justice: the husband of convicted pedophile Ghislaine Maxell has dumped her for a yoga teacher, informing her in a jailhouse call.
6) In one of the most UNDERreported stories of the day, secret commandos under acting AG Jeffrey Rosen’s orders were deployed to the Capitol on Patriot Day with orders to “shoot to kill” anyone who sought to attack Vice President Mike Pence.
-NOTE THAT THE HEADLINE CLAIMS TRUMP ORDERED THIS. He did not. Hoax media at it again.
7) The Demented Pervert plans to milk the Patriot Day anniversary for all it’s worth. These evil people are below despicable.
8) Global warming alert! Thousands of motorists are trapped on I-95 in Virginia for 16 hours!
9) Joel Kotkin: “Is this the End of Progressive America?”
-Lord we hope so.
10) Study uncovers anti-Semitic behavior among university diversity/equity staff.
-Shocked! Shocked, I tell ya.
11) Republican Congressman Ken Buck expects the GOP to take over 25 seats in 2022.
-Ken, Ken, why do you have such low expectations? I’d say anything less than 40 would be a failure.
12) Senator SpewMore is undertaking to remove the filibuster—a move he once called a “rubber stamp of a dictatorship.” Not now of course when he and his ilk are the dictators.
13) A top staffer for Occasional Cortex (aka, “Dead Eyes”) says Biteme is “Old as S**t,” “Deeply Unpopular,” “Largely ineffective.”
-Why are you pulling punches? Biteme is much worse than that.
14) The GOP has recovered from the Patriot Day propaganda assault, gaining 10 points from last January and higher than before the Patriot Day festivities.
15) In a related story, several men suspected of being federal agent provocateurs on Patriot Day have been subpoenaed in a case against an imprisoned Oath Keeper.
-Go get ‘em, tiger.
-COMMENT: A reminder that not a single one of the Patriot Day protestors have been charged with any crime remotely close to “insurrection” or “sedition.” The vast majority have been charged or plea-bargained to “Parading,” which is the equivalent of “jaywalking,” but only after the thoroughly evil and politicized DOJ has kept them in jail for almost a year.
16) In a brilliant “screw you” to Twitter, Congressman Troy Nehls has submitted the transcript of Joe Rogan’s podcast with Dr. Robert Malone into the Congressional Record, making it impossible for the evil Tech monster to block it.
17) One of our truly great reporters, Salena Zito, on how “Let’s go Brandon” became a swipe at Biteme and the national media.
18) In the peaceful paradise of Kollyfornia, rapper J $tash has killed his girlfriend and then himself in his Kollyfornia home.
IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS
19) Pootie-poot has announced the Russkies have a deal with the ChiComs to double gas exports to China.
20) While a ChiCom fusion reactor has maintained 70 million degrees Celsius for more than 17 minutes in a test, the longest time in which a temperature could be kept constant so far.
21) Estonia to provide Javalin missiles and howitzers to Ukraine.
IN INTRAGALACTIC NEWS
22) Scientists fear that traveling to Mars may speed up the aging process.
-Reportedly, William Shatner is still a go!
IN ECONOMIC NEWS
23) Verizon and AT&T agree to delay the 5G rollout, caving to Buttplugs’ request.
24) President Donald Trump and his family members have been subpoenaed by the lawless New York Attorney General Letitia James as part of a civil investigation into the family business.
25) . . . while the Manhattan DA has closed the probe into nursing home deaths under Nipplepin Venthoarder, the former governor of Evilville.
-LET THESE STORIES BE A WARNING: DO NOT DO BUSINESS IN NY.
26) In 2021, the wealth of billionaires and the top 1% grew by $341 billion while the wealth of the middle class saw its wealth shrink by .4%—the first time in history that the uber-rich’s wealth gains have outpaced those of the middle class.
27) Biteme to target meatpacking giants in quest to stop inflation.
-How’d price-fixing work for Dick Nixon, Rutabaga?
28) Activists in Florida say a solar farm will harm the black community.
29) Apple becomes the first U.S. company to reach $3 trillion in market value.
IN CHINA VIRUS NEWS
30) A federal judge has blocked the woke DOD from disciplining Navy SEALs who refused the vax on religious grounds.
31) Study: Most of the vaxxed die because of a vax-induced autoimmune attack on their own organs.
32) Desperate Rhode Island went from firing the unvaxxed to allowing those who tested positive for the China Virus to work.
33) And finally, North Korea’s Rocket Man, the tinpot dictator Kim Jong Il, says he “invented burritos in 2011.”
-Someone might want to tell Taco Bell.
And that’s Today’s News